Before I get to the picks for the week, I just want to make a quick fantasy football point. Usually, I am lucky to have a team that scores all the points that I could want. This year, my team scores less than the Cleveland Browns (unless you have been living on the moon for the past 3 months, you know that's not good). Despite having the fewest points scored, I can win my last 2 games (a possibility) and with a little help, can still make the playoffs! I've become the team that I hate every year that makes the playoffs despite being terrible... damn.
Anyway, on to the picks!
Browns (+4) at Lions
I just couldn't resist. Have you ever seen 2 worse teams (that wear NFL uniforms)? This might be the worst game ever played, yet I'm actually hoping that I get it in my area! This is bound to be high comedy. I can just hear the pregame announcer now, "coming up on Fox NFL Sunday, the worst offense in the league (the Browns) tries to get it together with their coach in the hot seat against the worst defense in the league (the Lions). Who will get their second win of the season? Find out next right here on Fox." I used Fox because it would make sense for a game this terrible to be on Fox. I think CBS does a much better job with football on Sundays, or maybe it's just because the AFC tends to put a better product on the field than the NFC (well, except for the Brownies of course). I don't have anything to say about either team other than they are both awful and fighting for last place with each other in most statistical categories. But because the Lions can sometimes find their way over the goal line much like you or I would grope through a dark house and fall down the stairs, I'll take the Lions.
Will - Lions
Lauren - Browns
Steelers (-10) at Chiefs
So can that Todd Haley yell or what? How long do you think until Chiefs management has to look into Haley the same way Kansas is being forced to look into Mangino? I would say by week 15 he completely loses all of his players and stories start to come out. It looks like Polamalu is going to sit this one out. That's alright though because the only receiving threat that the Chiefs possess - Dwayne Bowe - has to sit out 4 games for violating the steroids policy. I feel bad for Bowe because I think he's being cheated by his dealer. I mean, seriously, he's gotten worse! I will say one thing for the Chiefs, at least they got rid of Johnson, and I'm happy that the Bengals picked him up. I was hoping for something to slow the Bengals down and he's just the man to do it (albeit from the inside out...). The Steelers will have a nice bounce back game and I would fear for my health if I were a member of the Chiefs, the Steelers will be out for blood on Sunday. I'll take the Steelers.
Will - Steelers
Lauren - Steelers
Falcons (even) at Giants
Wow, this is one of those games that's going to take 5 hours and be incredibly sloppy. Michael Turner is nursing an injury, second year QB in Matt Ryan is reminding everyone that he's only in his second year (I guess everyone has film on him now), the Giants run game has not been the same this year - Brandon Jacobs picture should be on a milk carton because he hasn't shown up all year, and Eli Manning is... well... he's just terrible. This game will be unwatchable because of many turnovers + neither team being able to run the ball (good Giants D, banged up Falcons RB's, Giants RB's are MIA) + poor QB play (ALOT of incompletions) = long, boring game. I need to move on before I lose the will to live just thinking about this game... but I'll take the Giants since they just lost 4 straight and that's embarrassing.
Will - Giants
Lauren - Giants
Colts (+1) at Ravens
This is a tough game to pick. On the one hand you have the undefeated Colts with what looks like an unstoppable offense. On the other you have a Ravens team who's been hit or miss in all facets of the game. However, Terrell Suggs looks like he might not be able to go after Brady Quinn's huge embarrassing failure of a tackle. You would think that Quinn would be able to avoid situations like this with all the interceptions he throws... but maybe I'm wrong. I'll take the Colts and the point, I just don't think this is the week that the Colts lose their mojo.
Will - Colts
Lauren - Colts
Cardinals (-9) at Rams
This just has trap game written all over it to me. The Rams have been surprisingly frisky of late behind Steven Jackson and his refusal to be tackled. On the other side, the Cardinals live and die by the play of Kurt Warner - who I believe is eligible for Medicare within the next ten minutes. If Warner has a few senior moments like he did against Carolina in week 8 (which, come to think of it, could have just been Warner trying to make Delhomme feel good about himself - he is a good christian and all...). I'm counting on the Cards to lay an egg and Jackson to carry the Rams on his back all the way to a nice little cover of the spread. Rams.
Will - Cardinals
Lauren - Cardinals
Chargers (even) at Broncos
That Jay Cutler trade looks better and better with each passing week, right? Well, unless you like gunslingers who act like a bratty trust fund kids. And don't you kind of miss Rivers and Cutler jawing before games? Reminds me of two sweater vest wearing teenagers at the yacht club arguing over who's dingy scratched who's. Anyway, it looks like Orton and his neckbeard won't be out there on Sunday and that will probably spell disaster for the Broncos. Well, that and the Broncos seem to have come back to earth after that 5-0 start. I think Broncos fans can look forward to a second implosion in as many seasons to not make the playoffs. I think it's obvious, but I'll take the Chargers.
Will - Chargers
Lauren - Broncos
Jets (+11) at Patriots
I think that the Patriots and the "Eff you touchdown" (phrase coined by Bill Simmons of espn.com) will return to form this weekend. After Belichick got dragged through the mud all week by the media, I don't see how he Won't be leading the Patriots to a very lopsided victory this weekend. Keep in mind that the Jets are missing their anchor on D (literally and figuratively as he is a big man for his size), Chris Jenkins, and also start a rookie QB. Now that I think about it, I don't see how this line isn't closer to 15, there's just no way the Patriots don't just blow them out this Sunday to soothe their egos and show that they still have no sportsmanship or respect for their opponents. Patriots.
Will - Patriots
Lauren - Jets
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