NFL Week 6 Picks

I know I suck, but I've been busy (read: lazy). Anyway, to business. There are, in my opinion, 8 just absolutely awful teams that make me wish the NFL were run like Premier League soccer (with the worst couple teams being relegated to the lower division, replaced by the top couple teams in the lower division - in this case, the CFL... maybe? oh wait, the UFL! problem solved! I'm only half serious, more coming later). These 8 teams - Kansas City, Oakland, Cleveland, Buffalo, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Washington, and Detroit - will probably only collect wins against each other this year. Combined, they are 6-34. If you don't count games that they played each other, they are collectively 0-28! That's absurd. Even more absurd is the duel to the death between JaMarcus Russell and Derek Anderson to see who can set the all time record for worst QB rating in one season. Until last week, it didn't look like much of a contest until Anderson put up the following gem - 2-17, 23 yds, 0 TD, 1 INT. By the way, THEY WON THE GAME 6-3 over the Bills! That's how bad these teams are... ok, I'm done.

Back to the relegation idea, I don't see how this wouldn't improve the NFL. If the 4 teams in the UFL were absorbed into the NFL (so that they received picks 1-4 in the draft, as they would be the worst 4 teams - I assume no one would argue with that), you could relegate the bottom 2 teams to the UFL and move up the 2 teams that made the championship. This would help the NFL in a number of reasons. First off, not only would you have the playoff race at the end of the year, you would also have the bottom dwellers trying desperately to get out of the bottom 2 so that they play in front of NFL crowds next year and not CMU flag football crowds. This, in turn, would force the terrible ownership in the league - Cleveland, Oakland, and Detroit most notably - to hire GMs that are worth something because if the team is terrible year in and year out, they won't stay in the NFL and therefore won't make any money. I can't think of a better motivator than money. Finally, Vegas gets a chance to see if they can support a professional team, although I'm not sure if you want a pro team that close to the gambling capital of the country. That being said, I wish that this would happen to the MLB and NBA much more than I wish for this to happen in the NFL, but that's another issue altogether.

Now, without further ado, on to the picks!

You can see in the sidebar the standings for the year (although this is only 2 weeks...).

Browns (+15) at Steelers

Well, you already know how I feel about the Browns. They're terrible. Please keep in mind that Derek Anderson came in, in the second half of the game in week 3, threw 3 interceptions and won the starting job from there on out. I'm lost for words, the only team with a worse QB is Oakland, but the detestable duo of Anderson and Quinn is giving them a run for their money. In other news, Roethlisberger is throwing a ton this year and I actually hope that Mendenhall has stolen the starting job from Fast (but only when I'm in the open with no one around me, otherwise I tip-toe and move in slow motion) Willie Parker at RB. Polamalu is going to play Sunday with a brace on his knee, but the defense suffered what will probably turn out to be just as big of a blow with the loss of Aaron Smith for the year. Regardless, the Steelers own the Browns and I'd like to think this is the week we see the Steelers of old (after someone tells them there wasn't a rule change, there are still 4 quarters, not 3). I'll take the Steelers.

Will - Browns

Lauren - Steelers

Giants (+3) at Saints

I hear Plantar Fascitis is no joke, combine that with the fact that Eli always looks like he's about to cry (I had to get my shot in somehow, right?) and you get potential problems at QB. Drew Brees shows no signs of slowing down, which leads me to believe that this could turn into a shootout. I think that a shootout favors the Saints, since they have the best QB in the league and have shown that they are for real. That being said, we are talking about a Giants team that can tire out the scoreboard operator too, so this should come down to which defense can get a timely stop in the fourth quarter. I say it's the Saints.

Will - Saints

Lauren - Giants

Cardinals (+3) at Seahawks

Well, here's a matchup of 2 teams that are pretty much never televised on the East coast. If Will weren't one of the people that I'm picking against, I would not have chosen this game (that gives you an idea of how exciting I think this game will be). I see the Seahawks as wildly inconsistent, they live and die by the health of Hasselbeck, which should tell you either how good he is or how bad Seneca Wallace is. As far as I can tell, the Cardinals have not played a game that would really indicate where they stand. Their wins came against the Texans and Jaguars, while their losses came against the Colts (who make a strong argument for being the best team in the league) and the 49ers (who lost last week to a good Falcons team while not having Frank Gore). I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't believe any team in the NFC West is any good and I'd like to see one of them beat a winning team outside of their division before I begin to take one of them seriously (keep in mind that this is the same Cardinals team that was in the Superbowl last year...). I'll take the Cardinals and the points.

Will - Cardinals

Lauren - Cardinals

Ravens (+3) at Vikings

A battle of 2 teams with purple as their primary color. Now a relevant and potentially inciteful thought, Ray (I'm a violent dirty player that may have murdered a man, but that's ok because I'm a man of God) Lewis and the rest of the defense need to stop taking stupid penalties in the worst possible situations if they want to at least repeat what they did last year. Both of these teams are very good and this will be a hard-hitting, well played, and exciting football game. I don't see this being high scoring only because both of these defenses are more stifling than the offenses are explosive. Who would have thought that Favre would have been able to come back this year and have a repeat of the beginning of last year? Not this guy, although it may have something to do with not reporting a biceps tear that prevented him from throwing the ball further than about 5 yards, but whatever. Also, Joe "the Flying Unibrow" Flacco is orchestrating a now surprisingly frisky offense that has shown flashes with some big plays and big games from Flacco. Now let's see if they can keep it up for the year or if the first few weeks were just a result of taking opposing defensive coordinators by surprise. I'll take the Vikings.

Will - Vikings

Lauren - Vikings

Bears (+3) at Falcons

After starting off a little slow against the Packers, the Bears have come back and are looking pretty good, but so are the Falcons. This will be a good game with 2 teams that seem to be hitting their mid-season stride facing off in Atlanta (think Falcons fans still miss Michael Vick?). Michael Turner is finally playing like the Michael Turner of last year, which makes the Falcons dangerous through the ground and air (especially with the addition of Tony Gonzalez in the off season). Not much insight on this game, but I'll take the Falcons for the reason that I'd rather not pick with Cutler only to see him throw 5 INTs.

Will - Bears

Lauren - Bears

I'm hoping to be more consistent with the entries, maybe I'll even throw a second entry in next week if I'm feeling frisky...